There's something that's been bothering me lately. There's something a bit off, a bit fishy about me, man. But I just can't tell what it is. It seems as if everywhere I go and everything I do, something is always wrong in some way. The # 1 question I get asked during my day is "Are you OK?" or "Is something wrong with you?". Every time I leave a room or a bar or a social situation, people come up to my friends or co-workers and ask them: What is wrong with that kid? What is his fucking deal?" Well this site is where I tell you what my deal is.

In all honesty, besides the fact that I have this badass web site, I don't perceive myself as being different from anyone else at all. I attempt to make an honest living by getting whatever job will take me. I go to bars and parties all weekend, every weekend. I have a college degree. I spend a large amount of time playing guitar, shuffling through an endless mix of music on my Ipod, watching and analyzing sports, eating, writing, making home movies, talking on AIM, "chilling" and sleeping. Seems pretty normal on paper, right? Wrong. That ain't what anyone else perceives.

Every corporate office I have ever been gainfully employed in has abruptly cut off contact and told me to go home and cease all work activity under their name. Maybe 2 girls that I have ever met have sustained interest in my personality long enough to go on a date, and maybe 1 in 100 can tolerate me even enough to have a decent conversation. Every guy who has lived in the same room as me for one night or more has either gone insane, tried to kill themselves, or bolted our living quarters into a life of recluse. OK, maybe that's an exaggeration, but it's pretty darn close.

You may be asking yourself "What the hell is this kid talking about?" Everything I have written in the last three paragraphs may make absolutely no sense at all to you. You may think I'm speaking Chinese or Korean. If you think so, if you're like that, then STOP fucking reading right now. STOP IT! I'm dead serious. Because if you don't understand what I'm saying to ya, I'm not gonna stop and attempt to explain it to you a million fucking times. And it ain't gonna get any "easier" from here.

This ain't rocket science. Any man who has their head screwed on correctly; who has hair on their balls, a female companion in their hand, and a suit and tie, 9 to 5, workaday life, can tell you within 10 seconds of meeting me that something is a little off, a little odd. But they just can't put their finger on it. I can't put my finger on it either. I can't put my brain, or my heart, or my soul, on the fact that people perceive me any differently. That's the catch-22.

That's because I am just socially ackward. I try and hide it, run from it, store it somewhere in the back of my brain, but ultimately I can't get around the fact that I'm a little different. It has hindered me all of my adult life. There's no specific term for what's the matter with me. It's like a mixed drink or potion of sorts. A little drop of ADD, a small splash of Split Personality Syndrome, a couple specks of Sociopathy, a pinch of claustrophobia, a teaspoon of anger management issues, and a couple strong shots of Autism.

You know what man, I am so used to getting shitted on that I've come to expect it by now. I have created this site as something to laugh at, NOT to laugh with. And there are many laughs to be had ahead for you guys. Damn proud.