July 2007

OK, Youtube is a severe addiction in many offices, but has it anyone actually lost their job over Youtube? I'm proud to say that I may be the first. As of two days ago, I was the IT guy for a small NYC music marketing syndicate. It was a fun job for me. Part-time, with many free rock shows and free beer because of it (See "Road Trip From Hell").

No one even knew what I did there. I didn't either. I was supposed to be doing "marketing" on Myspace and Facebook and similar sites. It was a position made for me because I was an unpaid intern for so long. Not even my boss, RNRChick, knew what the position was, she just gave it to me. So I spent much of my days there on Youtube, watching videos of little kids getting hit in the head with basketballs, videos of kittens jumping into toilets, kittens getting bitten by dogs, and the like. And maybe if I felt like it, i would do one or two hours of something that just barely constituted as "work".

Everyone was cool with me just being there for a few months, doing... well whatever I was supposed to be doing. But after awhile, slowly but surely their clients began to squeal. "What is this guy's job?" "What does he do all day?" "Is he actually producing results for us?" My boss took this as a cue to lecture me about my apparent unprofessionalism, and how I'm making the company look bad. She said they still loved me though, loved my laugh, and wanted me to stay. But that was about to change.

After lunch that day- 2 days ago as I am writing this, we went into our traditional office meeting. The main subject of the meeting was my work and how my job could actually amount to something. Of course, like in every meeting I took notes on my computer, and nodded, agreed with everything my boss said, etc. But then, the meeting shifted onto something boring. So boring, in fact, that I could not continue my charade.

There was a certain video that came into my head at that second. A video that had been stuck in my head for days, and possibly one of the funniest videos in Youtube history. It is a video that takes place at a redneck comedy show, and features a man with such a funny laugh that it has been engraved in my head forever. No seriously, have you seen this video man, it's fucking great. Take a look

So back to the story, I was playing this video on mute for just a few seconds to distract me from how boring this meeting had gotten. I got up to the point in the video when this guy starts laughing, and I just started a slow giggle. Then, RNRChick and her associate noticed me. "Excuse me, we're in the middle of a meeting here, what is funny about this?" Remember, I'm supposed to be taking notes. I tried quickly to close the window, but I was not quick enough. It was too late. In an almost snake-like motion, RNRChick snuck her head almost a full 180 degrees around the table, and saw my computer screen covered with the iconic Youtube video player.

She blurted out loudly in stunned disbelief: "Are you watching Youtube videos when we're having this important meeting about you?" I just did not respond. Stunned silence all around the table. I knew I was guilty, and there was really nothing I could say in my defense.

Yesterday I came to work pretending nothing had happened. I was in the middle of doing something, when RNRCHick grabbed me forcefully and said "We need to talk, go in the back office." I ignored her and kept doing my work. "NOW!" she screamed, and dragged me away from my computer. Once we got there, the first words out of her mouth were "You...How... How Dare You."

After a few seconds of just plain disbelief on her face, she launched into a seemingly prepared tirade: "How the hell are we supposed to trust you on important business matters when you're watching Youtube videos during a meeting we're having to help you out. We... we hate to do this, but we're gonna have to let you go." To make a long story short, yep, I was fired.

If I ever met the creators of Youtube, I would get the goodness out of the way first. "Thank you for making the best time-waster in history" Thank you for changing the way how we look at the world". And then, just before they leave, I would give them the finger and say "Oh and by the way, fuck you for making me lose my job" And then run off.