1. Two girls sitting out on the beach

Rachel: I had such a bad day in the sun yesterday, my ass got so burnt

Jen: How do you get an ass burn? I've never heard of that.

Rachel: Like, I was sitting with my ass out and I couldn't squeeze sunscreen through the cracks of my G-string, so I just left it out, and now it's so bad I can't even stand up.

Jen: Oh, I HATE those ass burns. This guy once gave me one when he put his penis in mine.

1. Four girls in a hotel elevator

Jamie: Did you press on your hair yet?

Lanie: No, I was too busy having sex with that guy.

Erin: So you're telling me you would rather fool around with Steve than go out with perfectly pressed hair

Samantha: Honey, you are a freak. You have like the freakiest hair out of all of us.

Lanie: I can't help it. He had an Australian accent.

1. Three girls waiting on line at a club

Jane: We just had our anniversary

Jan: So why are you going out with us?

Jane: Some guy I met on the beach today told me to come here.

Erika: Would you, like, do it with some random guy you met on the beach?

Jane: Probably does it better than my husband. He has a Latino flavor. My husband is so boring.

Jan: That's not as bad as what you did one time Erika. Remember that cruise we went on, that midget.

Erika: OH MY GOD. He was disgusting.

Jane: On second thought, I think I'm going home. Later girls

(So basically, this girl spent hours getting ready to go to a club, FOR NOTHING)