A little kid is with his dad by the pool at our hotel on South Beach. This exchange made me crack up:

Kid: Daddy, where is mommy and aunt Ruthie?

Dad: They're too busy watching reality TV to have their own lives

Kid: What's reality TV daddy?

Dad: Basically, Timmy, real TV has scripts and actors where reality TV has idiots who try to be famous.

Kid: Why are they idiots if they're on TV?

Dad: Because they have no brains, act blindly in a quest for attention, and have no lives.

Kid OK. Tell Aunt Ruthie to get a goddamn life and stop watching that rubbish.

Dad: I can't be sure about that son, but I might have to steal her TV just to teach her a goddamn lesson. Come on son, let's go back in the pool