I am walking on Union Square when I notice a quite unusual sight. A girl whom I would commonly think to be a "buttslut", with a thick Long Island accent, who looks like she is walking towards one of the many overpriced NYC clubs she will attend tonight. With her, engaged in a deep conversation with her, is a BUM. That's right, a man begging for change on the street. Yes, a bum. Transfixed by this rare sight, I listen in:

Bum: ...People here in New York don't really realise how close they really are to being out on the streets, just like me. And it's all because of this great depression recession business. Like, one second you have your job, the next second you're out on the streets

Buttslut: Oh, absolutely. Like, there are so many girls here who are so like "Ohmigod, we have it all", when really they have nothing.

Me: I hope you don't mind me listening in on your conversation. You see, I'm a writer, and listening in to such stuff is good for my work.

Bum: Whatever you gotta do to make some money man. You see me, I got nothin'. I'm a normal guy, just like you, except I'm here on the street and I got nothing. You don't understand.

Me: I DO understand. I'm close to broke and I got nothing to my name.

Bum: You're lying to me. Are you makin' fun of me, cause I'll kill ya.

Me: Have less than 5 grand to my name and deteriorating fast, Honest to God.

Buttslut: WHAT did he just say?

Bum: You know, I can see your face, I believe you, a young dude just like yourself, worried about being out on the streets like me. Before you know it, it's gonna be true.

Me: What are you tryin' to say about me?

Bum: That before you know it, you could be out here like me.

Buttslut: You know, why don't you open your wallet and give this guy some change, because he is the real fuckin' deal.

Me: You talk? I'm surprised, because I'd imagine the only financial worry you would have tonight is the amount you are willing to spend on alcohol tonight. Over/under 200 bucks. I'd take the over.

Buttslut: Actually, dickhead, I'm just coming from the sushi roll to get dinner for me and my child, who I raised myself, by the way FUCK YOU, and getting the special because the family roll is two dollars. What smart-ass comment do you have to say now?

Me: Ok, OK. I guess I stand corrected. Anyway, Streetie (take out quarter from wallet), here's 25 cents.

Buttslut: Hey, hey, why are you calling him Streetie? Don't you think that's a little racist?

Bum: I got kids, dickhead.

Buttslut: And don't you think 25 cents is a little cheap? This guy is the real fuckin' deal OK?

Me: I am a man of the people, I will bestow my generosity on anyone who deserves it. And he does.

(As I am walking away) Buttslut: Fuckin' jerk. HE'll get what he deserves.

Well, I ended up getting so drunk that night, that it ended with me standing out on a street corner and asking groups of lower east side partiers: "brother, can you spare a dime", because I had spent all my money on drinks. So I Guess she was right. BUT, and I guess there is a "But" that strong-willed woman is currently being called called "Buttslut" on my site. Life isn't always fair. I guess not.