Have you ever started typing something serious, like a job application or business deal or school project, at around 8 o clock on a Saturday night, and then you come home drunk at 3 and on an adrenaline high from the night out, you think you can finish it? That's happened to me countless times. Usually I catch myself before hitting the "send" button, but God forbid my judgement was lacking and I actually sent something out to a hiring organization that I wrote when I was drunk, it would amount to a legitimate disaster. And especially now, when I have about as much chance of getting the job as I do winning the lottery, such a letter would surely put me at the top of the list. I'd love to be the hiring manager that opens this Email first thing on a Monday morning:

To Whom It May Concern,

WHaat's going on, man>?? Like I read about your job posting thingie on the Interweb, and I totallly think I can do it. Likw,like Ican handle filinng and papers and stuff like it's no tomorrow and it's totally no problem. Do ya think it can work for you to like, let me into your company organization%^? I promise I won't do anything wrong, like I did in my last job. OK, maybe I'm not supposed to be tellin you that. Am I slurring? I'm thinking aloud. Anyway man, I really like your company dude. I love what you did on that project and stuff back in like, 95'. When that Weezer song came on and everyone started singing "Sayyy it ain't soooooo". Wait, was that you guys? Oh no that was tonight at the bar,, anyway you gotta hire me because I have mad skilllzz and stuff. And like, I spent over 200 dollars on liquor tonight, this city is sooo overpriced and I need some more money funds and mutual 401 investment bond thingies. Commee on dude, you gotta help me out man.

I love you man,

I mean Yours Truly,

Frank Delorenzo