From Phase: "The G-20 nations' heads of state will announce on Friday that the G-20 will become the permanent council for international economic cooperation, eclipsing the Group of Eight.

The G-8 will continue to meet on matters important to the most developed economies, such as international security issues. But those meetings will come as world leaders converge for other events, not in major summits."

TRANSLATION: The Gay-20 will continue their circle jerk and think of ways to screw over the most corrupt economies. After extensive tryouts, the gayest 8 with no gag reflex interfering with their fallatio skills will continue to compete to determine who is the biggest fag of all.

Situation Hopeless.

Do you remember our friend Winston Smith, Minister of Truth, from the Layoff Daily message boards? Ever since the boards ceased to exist we have become email buddies with this deranged man. We have had some priceless exchanges and forwards, including this one:

Winston Smith@aol.com to Scotty Dukes, Phase, (list serve): Lou Dobbs: "The biggest threat to the environment...too many children." finally its getting mainstream. too late of course and only will get worse but at least someone is telling the fucking truth . x abort or sterilize at birth . not cute at all and your competitor for all. ws, mot , always bho is a combo platter of both, thinks he is black and i never saw a black person . the kids hair is black and his face is??????? right stupid, BROWN!

Scotty Dukes to Winston CC: Phase
As a guy with brown hair I kind of take offense to that. I remember also when you said that I looked like a "tart". Those are great illustrations by the way, did you do those?

Phase to Winston, Scotty:
Haha!! At last it's making the headlines in the mainstream... Scotty what teh fuck are you talking about? That was a very TART-like comment.

Winston to Phase, Scotty: WTF are u talking about scotty? i have brown hair too. so what? . what color hair does bho have? its black right what the fuck color is his skin or 50 cents skin its fucking brown. Whats with this black ? da i'm black well no motherfucker your brown and So what? dont make anyone bad or good. it all comes from the heart! that black deal came from the black panthers in the 60's. it sounds scary . brown panther dont sound as good. So the tarts call themselves black which makes them Dumb. tell them to get their crayons out. no one dare, they are afraid of brown people for so reason?, i dont know why! I love black (girls') bodies, best asses on earth. guys got great builds too. reason for that big ass is they were on all four longer than us. the spine is bent! fuck everybody where they put their folk ! bho is bi racial or malotto and that's fine but tell the fucking truth. what the bs about the first black president? That's a bold ass lie ws, mot, always -- get a grip its all a joke , situation hopeless

I am talking to this girl at a bar, and all of a sudden Michael Jackson's "Thriller" comes on.

Girl: OMG I LOVE this song. Hey. You know what they did in Mexico City?

Me: No. What did they do?

Girl: they got 40,000 people in the street dancing along to "Thriller" all in sync.

Me: Oh REALLY?

Girl: Yeah, it was like the most people ever at one time dancing to one song.

Me: Oh yeah.

Girl: OMG yeah. The Mexicans. It was awesome. And they were wearing like these awesome red jumpsuits.

Me: I think you're talking about the Panamanian inmates

Girl: Panamanian, Mexican, they're all the same to me. Whatever.

Me: The world is your fucking oyster isn't it?

Girl: Excuse me?

Me: I said that was an awesome video.

Girl: Oh yeah wasn't it? I wish I could dance like that.

Me: Well take a fucking dance class and do it.

Girl: Nah I'm too fat to move like that.

Me: Then move to fucking Mexico or Panama, get arrested, and be part of the next one. Which would you rather do, be part of a lame company, a lame job in North America where all work sucks monkey balls, or would you rather do something cool and exciting like that.

Girl: You know what, that's not a bad idea. If I could teach English for a year in Peru and sit front row at a U2 concert because my brother met Bono and handed him an extra ticket (I hope to dear Lord she was making that one up), then I can do pretty much anything.

Me: Go right ahead. Be my guest

Girl: Look for me, front and center in that next Mexican video.

Me: Wouldn't miss it for the world.

I am not a member of too many message boards online, because most of them don't offer any comedy or anything productive to say. However, recently i was drawn to the message boards of a now-defunct website called Layoff Daily by Phase, because of a man on there, quite obviously a head case, who went under several aliases including "Winston Smith, Minister of Truth", and most notably "Citizen Orwell". This guy's posts ranged from psychotic to delusional to trippy to insulting to just plain weird. Everyone on the message board HATED him and kept on telling him to leave and tried to block him but he never went away for too long, even when he said he will. He is an angry, angry man and takes his rage out on people who comment on this website designed to inform and enlighten people of layoffs and the developing economic crisis. But to the guy's credit, his posts are absolutely hilarious, and he does think of some of the most creative insults to other members of the board I have ever heard. So here is a little compilation I put together of some of his funniest moments, copied verbatim from the old Layoff Daily message boards. ENJOY!:

• Al Roker?  i'd love  to bitch slap that Brown motherfucker then piss on him. what a punk  brown asskisser.  He out lived that other  asshole. Willard Scott another Butt Boy!

• Sherm- nobody accused you of having a brain. When someone makes a statement that NYC is called the Holy City you have serious problems. Funny then one of your sidkicks comes in with a job and calls you a Tart. i taught you all well. He is correct you are a Tart and whoever that picture is of- has serious mental problems. Thats reality sonny!

• QUESTION: WHAT IS A TART? That would be short for re-tart! not unlike you! You used the tern about- dont you know what the hell your saying? wooops sorry i forgot it was you ! you could also use the term RE. ie you a re. Buy the way where’s the gun? Phase sez what gun? , i come back with “the gun you shoot the shit with” By the way did anyone in your family live?

• The question is WHY DO THE PEOPLE IN THE USA CALL THEMSELVES AMERICANS WHEN IN FACT THERE ARE 3 AMERICAS. WE ARE A SMALL SECTION OF ONE CALLED NORTH?

• Cj sez i’m vulgar now isnt he a nice girl. sorry missy! I even asked him For Example? so far i got zzzzzzzzzzzz

• Dick Bove another clown . He’s like the Wind . He should retire.

When another guy suggested that they ban him from the board:

• Dear SAP sure– who do you want to block? You also have my permission to stick your head in the toilet. That about how much useful input you give to this site. Your a troll.

• this is group of washwomen bs’ing daily. daaa dis you hear this daa did you hear that. Well yes assholes we did and what shall we do? a SUGGESTION PLEASE? Join the group of dopes. You all should names this site Tarts Daily! or Washwomen Daily!! WTF?

• I dont even pay attention any more. I also suggested anyone with an IQ over 70 boycott the site. Its over. I mean this is a Serious group of fools.

• HEY SAP HOW MUCH MONEY DID YOU DONATE TO THIS SITE? IF NONE LEAVE THE ROOM GO HOME TO MOMMIE! YOU CONTRIBUTE NOTHING! ZIP! NOT A POSTIVE THOUGHT IN THAT EMPTY HEAD!

• THIS SITE HAS BECOME HOWDY DOODY’S PEANUT GALLERY. THE IDIOTS FIND THE NEWS HOURS LATER AND GET THEIR ROCKS OFF RE- POSTING. I THINK THE GROUP IS A BUNCH OF OLD LADIES FROM FLORIDA WHO LIKE TO GOSSIP! SITUATION HOPELESS.

• This group are hopeless smucks! Most not all! As you can see i made some suggestions to a clown called Phase, he asked me and he never came back! I’ll assume he painting his trailer with his 10 kids.

• Well here i am in from running 10 miles and i see You Jerk Off’s are now going back and forth about burka’s. i think all you stupid mf’s should wear burkas maybe it will shut you the fuck up? WTF has burka’s got to do with the people losing jobs or making good sugessions about a solution ever so small – like your minds??????????

• Since i entered this site you got more hits then ever! Check it out! WHY? well again i make you Lemmings think! WS, MOT, Always (This was his official ending for EVERY post he made under the alias "Winston Smith, Minister of Truth")

• DS- etc Its 4:30 est lets hear one reply to question or statements i asked instead of calling me names and telling me to go to the hospital. keep in mind girls the nastys go both ways!

• Since i entered this site which i liked when this Cranky guy started it or took it over? – it has now become a burka, lafer curve bunch of bullshit artists who find sites and Run back to this one and report to each other like a bunch of old broads in Florida. Did you hear this? did you know this? and not one of the assholes has a solution- a suggestion! a idea ! We know the problems sooooooooooooooooo? Pure bs and thats why we are in deep shit as a once great country. Since not one of you have a suggestion or solution to a problem I’m out of here. Watch the hits they will drop to near zero.

• When i spell a word wrong which i dont give a shit about I see it and fuck it – this isnt a “spelling bee” I got spell check. i dont bother. I had people doing all that for me. WFC? you get the point.

• Be nice or mommie wont buy you new panties! Daaaaaaa Did you hear this ? daa “did you hear that” daaaaa now we got the fucking lafer curve involved with these idiots! WTF. daaaaa “where is cranky”? i told you, your making me cranky! i’ll bet you all make your old ladies cranky too! PS sez nighty nighty all? WTF? I’m really Cranky NOW! Peace Had Enough– Me Too Situation Hopeless, ws, mot, always

• No Person escapes when Freedom Fails , the Best Rot in Filthy Jails and THOSE That Cried APPEASE, APPEASE are Destroyed by Those They Tried to Please! Pretty forken good, right? one could also say Fork you Cork sucker! is that Foul as u say?

• Well just got in gang and all i have to say is SO WHAT? What the hell are you all going to do. Cry Like babies to each other or ACT NOT REACT!! Lets have so ideas from you Armchair Cowboys. So we are in deep shit and good people are getting hurt whats next? I suggested we get buses and MARCH ON WASINGTON! Set up a commitee to get it all right. We outnumber the police and when they come we go right at them , depants them take our guns then as we we buy them for the idiots, burn their pants and we get action. Some might get hurt a but freedom aint cheap and we aint got no freedon now for sure! Its all a bluff game on their part just take my word i know for a Fact! What say all you talkers? bla bla bla as we are getting fucked big time and its only began ! it now has to be payed for! WTF dont you all get? Are their any balls in the house? Get a history book adnd see how change comes about and i'll give you a clue, not by talk! How the fuck was this shithole started in the first place and why? ws, mot, always

1. Two girls sitting out on the beach

Rachel: I had such a bad day in the sun yesterday, my ass got so burnt

Jen: How do you get an ass burn? I've never heard of that.

Rachel: Like, I was sitting with my ass out and I couldn't squeeze sunscreen through the cracks of my G-string, so I just left it out, and now it's so bad I can't even stand up.

Jen: Oh, I HATE those ass burns. This guy once gave me one when he put his penis in mine.

1. Four girls in a hotel elevator

Jamie: Did you press on your hair yet?

Lanie: No, I was too busy having sex with that guy.

Erin: So you're telling me you would rather fool around with Steve than go out with perfectly pressed hair

Samantha: Honey, you are a freak. You have like the freakiest hair out of all of us.

Lanie: I can't help it. He had an Australian accent.

1. Three girls waiting on line at a club

Jane: We just had our anniversary

Jan: So why are you going out with us?

Jane: Some guy I met on the beach today told me to come here.

Erika: Would you, like, do it with some random guy you met on the beach?

Jane: Probably does it better than my husband. He has a Latino flavor. My husband is so boring.

Jan: That's not as bad as what you did one time Erika. Remember that cruise we went on, that midget.

Erika: OH MY GOD. He was disgusting.

Jane: On second thought, I think I'm going home. Later girls

(So basically, this girl spent hours getting ready to go to a club, FOR NOTHING)